treesfall:

chekhov:

In health class we were given sheets of paper and told to write a message we would want someone of the opposite sex to know

She read some examples

The girls were like: “Hey can you please not treat me like shit”

The boys were like: “Spray tans look ugly I hate when girls wear too much makeup and don’t lead me on.”

#meanwhile water is wet

tardisity:

The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.

caffeinatedqueer:

sherlocks-shenanigans:

krwebb:

** CAUTION **

midwestdogblog:

Please tell every dog or cat owner you know. Even if you don’t have a pet, please pass this to those who do.
Over the weekend, the doting owner of two young lab mixes purchased Cocoa Mulch from Target to use in their garden. The dogs loved the way it smelled and it was advertised to keep cats away from their garden. Their dog (Calypso) decided the mulch smelled good enough to eat and devoured a large helping. She vomited a few times which was typical when she eats something new but wasn’t acting lethargic in any way. The next day, Mom woke up and took Calypso out for her morning walk. Halfway through the walk, she had a seizure and died instantly.

Although the mulch had NO warnings printed on the label, upon further investigation on the company’s web site,

This product is HIGHLY toxic to dogs and cats.

Cocoa Mulch is manufactured by Hershey’s, and they claim that “It is true that studies have shown that 50% of the dogs that eat Cocoa Mulch can suffer physical harm to a variety of degrees (depending on each individual dog). However, 98% of all dogs won’t eat it.”

*Snopes site gives the following information:http://www.snopes.com/critters/crusader/cocoamulch.asp

 .asp>

Cocoa Mulch, which is sold by Home Depot, Foreman’s Garden Supply and other garden supply stores contains a lethal ingredient called ‘Theobromine’. It is lethal to dogs and cats. It smells like chocolate and it really attracts dogs. They will ingest this stuff and die. Several deaths already occurred in the last 2-3 weeks.

Theobromine is in all chocolate, especially dark or baker’s chocolate which is toxic to dogs. Cocoa bean shells contain potentially toxic quantities of theobromine, a xanthine compound similar in effects to caffeine and theophylline. A dog that ingested a lethal quantity of garden mulch made from cacao bean shells developed severe convulsions and died 17 hours later. Analysis of the stomach contents and the ingested cacao bean shells revealed the presence of lethal amounts of theobromine.

**PLEASE PASS THIS ON**

:( :( :(

I am sorry to hear about the dog. That’s a really sad family tragedy that I wish they didn’t have to go through.

BUT HOW IS IT NOT OBVIOUS THAT COCOA MULCH IS MADE OF CHOCOLATE. COCOA. COCOA MULCH.

pumpkinlessidjit:

jadedgalvanizer:

timelordsatan:

ambular-d:

pumpkinlessidjit:

i want there to be an angel that descends from the heavens only when someone is being stupid

and the angel just gently places their hand over the person’s mouth

and whispers in a voice filled with heavenly beauty and love

“no”

ANABIEL

LOOK IT UP

IM SCREECHING LOOK LOOK AT THE ART LOOK HOW PRETTY IT IS OH MY GOSH <33333333333

donnanoble-the-sasstronaut:

mrloopysquirrel:

wHy

hello yes, 911 send me an aMBULANCE

• A compliment
• A story
• Why you follow me
• If you met me what would you do
• A cute message
• One thing you want to tell me
• One thing you want to know about me

sodamnrelatable:

People be like

“It’s colder than i thought it would be in hell.”

“Send food”

“Didn’t anyone tell them I’m claustrophobic?”

“Umm…you guys…can you like…dig me up…I’m 6 feet under the ground in a coffin with my phone so uhhh yeah…”

“Omg, Satan is so funny!”

“Hell isn’t that bad, at least you get internet :)”

“Hitlers a badass!”

“I’m gonna stop by some of your houses, see you guys soon”

yuppadupp:

thewholockgames:

districteverthorne:

what if someone wrote a book and the plot was basically amazing and the characters were awesome and at the end of the book, you’re dying to know what happens, all you see is a ripped page and the author actually did it on purpose and you’ll never know what happens because all the other published copies are like that too

calm down satan

Time to play a new game:
Make sure John Green doesn’t find the thing

rosetylahh:

but guys

the next time we see Doctor Who credits Billie and David’s name will be on them. 

benedictedcumberbabeof221:

mighty-thor-of-assgard:

danniauttumns:

ser-merlin-of-valyria:

tumblr has fallen

david karp is dead

yahoo is coming

your second sentence only has 5 syllables. Haiku fail. Though… they all do have 5, poem pass, haiku fail.

it wasn’t a haiku, it was a harry potter reference:

“the ministry has fallen

scrimgeour is dead

they are coming.”

gallifreyishome:

boygrimlark:

scout-ebubbles:

docot:

freddybenson:

leovaldezstyle:

freddybenson:

A

B

C

the brazilian wandering spider’s venom can give you an erection lasting for hours

D

E

F

G